Peacefulness in the midst of a storm. Detachment brings inner peace. That is my mantra. I am working so very hard to keep a sense of peace around me while holding onto my boundaries. Is it easy? Absolutely not. Is it worth it? 100%. I don’t know when I made this breakthrough or how it
Confidence. Coming to terms with many things feels like I’ve lifted a huge weight off of me. I am slowly coming to the realization that the only person I have control of is myself. This realization brings with it both a sadness and a great peace. Sadness that I really cannot help someone who doesn’t
If you’ve been following the saga of our ups and downs then you are aware of my sons continuing addiction. Now it is gambling. I’ve really been pushed beyond my limits. So I decided enough is enough. I did that. That being confrontation, no backing down, boldly setting boundaries and being confident in my decision.
https://tinybuddha.com/blog/the-antidote-to-shame-i-am-enough/?fromterm=4921 The following is a wonderful story from Christy Bonner about loving an addict reposted from “Tiny Buddha” “You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.” ~Maya Angelou I grew up with a father who was an addict. When I was fourteen my dad hit rock bottom and lost a job with a six-figure salary, my
I am lost and I just want to cry. I cannot do this anymore. I just can’t take this roller coaster ride again. I want my son to go back to jail. Am I an evil mother? Am I wrong? I love him and I hate him all at the same time. How is that
Yes, he’s in jail, his family is losing their home, he gambled away all the profits from his business and he wants money for socks! He has the audacity to call to say he wants socks! http://www.walkingthruthedark.com/2022/05/20/how-much-more-can-i-take/ I think that this is the first time that I am this angry with him. He has not
Deja Vue, here we go again. Jail time, again. I don’t think he’ll ever learn. I believe he’s always going to fall back to his old habits when times get tough. He knows his triggers, he knows the resources available but yet he seems to just want the easy way. The easy way doesn’t get
Well Hello Today! Today is another day, a day we can start anew if we choose to do that. I am hoping and praying that we can start anew. I am still worried about my son but the few conversations that we have showed me he has the tools he needs to prevent or limit
How much more can I take? How many more tears can I shed? Why does this happen when everything seems to be going great? Why? Why? Why? I’m finding that I am sinking, not able to function, aware of what I need to do but just incapable of doing it. I am stuck. Of course
This “one day at a time” saying is so true. Everyday could be the last day before a relapse. Living on the edge isn’t easy. It’s getting bad…..again. I am at a loss. I don’t know what to do, what to say or how to feel. We cannot stop the monster. A monster is what
This past week my husband and I went to a county sponsored Narcan training and information meeting. It was a great information gathering event. There was many different rehab centers, Parent support groups, recover resources and educational opportunities. It was great to be able to talk to well informed professionals and gather information. There was
Even in addiction recovery there is still pain, because entitlement remains in recovery. Sometimes I get a little too comfortable with the fact that my son is in recovery and doing well. It’s then that I am dealt with of good slap of reality. Addicts are selfish. Recovering addicts do not flip a switch and
I am so excited and so proud of my son. He has come so far in his recovery. I am completely aware that this could turn around in an instant but right now I am reveling in the joy of his success. At this time last year, as we were beginning the lock down of
Gratitude. What an amazing word. We could all use a little more of this. I am very guilty of this. I concentrate on what is wrong rather then what is right. I want a perfect picture life. That just is not possible but how do I change that perspective? I think gratitude is the key.