When does saying you’re sorry mean something? I have heard it so many times and it sounds sincere in the moment. The tears flow as he says all the right words and if it was the first time I would be gullible enough to believe him. If he wasn’t an addict I’d believe him but
How much more can I take? How many more tears can I shed? Why does this happen when everything seems to be going great? Why? Why? Why? I’m finding that I am sinking, not able to function, aware of what I need to do but just incapable of doing it. I am stuck. Of course
Wow, it’s been so long since I have posted. Sometimes life just gets in the way of the best intentions. Having 8 grandchildren keeps us pretty busy. Grandchildren are such a blessing. Spending time with them can sometimes be a challenge due to who their parents are. That really sounds terrible but it doesn’t mean
Even in addiction recovery there is still pain, because entitlement remains in recovery. Sometimes I get a little too comfortable with the fact that my son is in recovery and doing well. It’s then that I am dealt with of good slap of reality. Addicts are selfish. Recovering addicts do not flip a switch and
While we all are struggling through the COVID-19 lock downs life gets stressful. Since we have my son’s family living here with us, things get crazy. There is no personal space, no escape some days. 4 children and 3 adults are a lot of people together 24/7 in the same house. Then to add to
The holidays have ended and although we couldn’t all be together there were lots of happy memories made. We now have seven grandchildren so I was going for organized chaos. 6 of them live nearby and the 7th about 1200 miles away. This year we were spending Christmas with my daughter’s family 1200 miles away.
Today my son turned 33. Age is just a number but also a barometer of how long he’s been struggling with addiction. 15 years, a very very long time. Within those years we’ve gone without knowing where he was, taking him to numerous rehabs, meeting with numerous counselors, setting up sober living houses, receiving phone
I feel as though I’m very lucky right now. It didn’t always feel this way. Those close to me just didn’t understand addiction, well really neither did I. But I was thrust into learning and learning quickly all I could about the subject. I read whatever I could find and learned so much. I felt
I am so thankful that my son survived his overdose. We all know that seconds matter in these cases. So someone was watching out for him on Sunday night. I also want to extend my appreciation to everyone that has reached out to me, it is truly appreciated. The scary thing is that he is
My life has been a little hectic the past month, but we’ve made it through as well as made some great advances in communication with my son’s fiance. You see since he is sitting in County Prison for 60 days he is no longer able to control that situation. She has been relying on us
National Sibling day was last week in the United States. It’s a day where everyone sends their siblings sweet messages to remind them why they are lucky to have them as a sister or brother. It’s a nice sentiment, a little like Mother’s day or Father’s Day but without gift exchanges. Just like Mother and
My son has had another first! A good first. He brought 2 of his children with him to just visit, not to say I’ll be back in an hour but to actually stay and visit. There has been a little mother nagging going on about this. You see I hear all the time how I
Life with my son is like a roller coaster. There are so many slow climbs to the top and a few giant drops. I feel as though those descents, however bad they are at the time, actually teach me something and give me strength. Sometimes it also teaches my son something about life and people.
These past few days have been the perfect example of how it is to be the mother of an addict. My son has been clean and sober for 18 months but still has the personality traits that he had when he was in active addiction. He still has the temper, the “me first” attitude, the