Confidence. Coming to terms with many things feels like I’ve lifted a huge weight off of me. I am slowly coming to the realization that the only person I have control of is myself. This realization brings with it both a sadness and a great peace. Sadness that I really cannot help someone who doesn’t
I am so excited and so proud of my son. He has come so far in his recovery. I am completely aware that this could turn around in an instant but right now I am reveling in the joy of his success. At this time last year, as we were beginning the lock down of
Gratitude. What an amazing word. We could all use a little more of this. I am very guilty of this. I concentrate on what is wrong rather then what is right. I want a perfect picture life. That just is not possible but how do I change that perspective? I think gratitude is the key.
As time moves on life gets in the way of our best intentions. This past year has been a blur. We have all struggled through COVID19 and the impact it has had in our lives. We have watched those we love get sick, possibly die and restrictions on our lives to help stop the spread.
There is always the question of what can I do without drinking? Without drugs? Without partying? How will I meet people? Where will I meet people? Why can’t I still hang out with the old group and just not drink or do drugs? Starting a new way of living certainly comes with it’s challenges and
The holidays have ended and although we couldn’t all be together there were lots of happy memories made. We now have seven grandchildren so I was going for organized chaos. 6 of them live nearby and the 7th about 1200 miles away. This year we were spending Christmas with my daughter’s family 1200 miles away.
The past few weeks I haven’t been able to write. I haven’t cared to write. I just wanted to curl up in my own little cocoon. My world just seemed so overwhelming. It was too much for me to add writing and exposing my fears to my days at work. Evenings were needed for
It’s been 1 year and a half since I started writing this blog. So much has changed but so much has remained the same. My son has been in jail several times, He’s there right now and will miss the birth of his daughter this week. Instead of becoming more positive about his recovery I’m
Today my son turned 33. Age is just a number but also a barometer of how long he’s been struggling with addiction. 15 years, a very very long time. Within those years we’ve gone without knowing where he was, taking him to numerous rehabs, meeting with numerous counselors, setting up sober living houses, receiving phone
Christmas, Hanukkah and Thanksgiving are fast approaching. Holidays can be especially difficult for someone in recovery. The holidays are times of parties and parties a lot of the time involve drinking. Not just the parties but the family dinners, gift giving etc. All these things can cause a tremendous amount of stress. Stress is a
I feel as though I’m very lucky right now. It didn’t always feel this way. Those close to me just didn’t understand addiction, well really neither did I. But I was thrust into learning and learning quickly all I could about the subject. I read whatever I could find and learned so much. I felt
No matter what the reason when there is an important event I want and wish for my son to be there. Sometimes it really isn’t possible such as our daughters wedding in New Orleans. Having him there would have made me burst with love and happiness. Don’t get me wrong though, I was very happy
In the past 3 weeks I have come close to losing both my son and my husband. I’ve written about my son’s overdose 3 weeks ago. It has been scary, heartbreaking and uncomfortable. I do not know what I would do if I had lost him. But last night after babysitting our granddaughters, we were
My life has been a little hectic the past month, but we’ve made it through as well as made some great advances in communication with my son’s fiance. You see since he is sitting in County Prison for 60 days he is no longer able to control that situation. She has been relying on us