I’m always trying to see the future and how little changes can snowball into greater things. I would like to concentrate more on today and less on tomorrow, Living in the moment with Gratitude. If things are good right now I need to live in this moment of time instead of worrying about tomorrow. That
Confidence. Coming to terms with many things feels like I’ve lifted a huge weight off of me. I am slowly coming to the realization that the only person I have control of is myself. This realization brings with it both a sadness and a great peace. Sadness that I really cannot help someone who doesn’t
It isn’t my job to keep the peace of those who have caused chaos in my life. When the holidays come so does added stress for everyone. It’s not easy when you child is not included in family plans. It hurts. Not just him but me too. On one level I can understand but because
If you’ve been following the saga of our ups and downs then you are aware of my sons continuing addiction. Now it is gambling. I’ve really been pushed beyond my limits. So I decided enough is enough. I did that. That being confrontation, no backing down, boldly setting boundaries and being confident in my decision.
I am lost and I just want to cry. I cannot do this anymore. I just can’t take this roller coaster ride again. I want my son to go back to jail. Am I an evil mother? Am I wrong? I love him and I hate him all at the same time. How is that
When does saying you’re sorry mean something? I have heard it so many times and it sounds sincere in the moment. The tears flow as he says all the right words and if it was the first time I would be gullible enough to believe him. If he wasn’t an addict I’d believe him but
Yes, he’s in jail, his family is losing their home, he gambled away all the profits from his business and he wants money for socks! He has the audacity to call to say he wants socks! http://www.walkingthruthedark.com/2022/05/20/how-much-more-can-i-take/ I think that this is the first time that I am this angry with him. He has not
Deja Vue, here we go again. Jail time, again. I don’t think he’ll ever learn. I believe he’s always going to fall back to his old habits when times get tough. He knows his triggers, he knows the resources available but yet he seems to just want the easy way. The easy way doesn’t get
Well Hello Today! Today is another day, a day we can start anew if we choose to do that. I am hoping and praying that we can start anew. I am still worried about my son but the few conversations that we have showed me he has the tools he needs to prevent or limit
How much more can I take? How many more tears can I shed? Why does this happen when everything seems to be going great? Why? Why? Why? I’m finding that I am sinking, not able to function, aware of what I need to do but just incapable of doing it. I am stuck. Of course
This “one day at a time” saying is so true. Everyday could be the last day before a relapse. Living on the edge isn’t easy. It’s getting bad…..again. I am at a loss. I don’t know what to do, what to say or how to feel. We cannot stop the monster. A monster is what
The ups and downs can be dramatic. There are days he’s doing great, even weeks and months and then it’s downhill, usually because of finances. As far as I know he hasn’t relapsed with narcotics but he’s under so much stress to make enough money that I’m scared. Scared that he will use just to
Even in addiction recovery there is still pain, because entitlement remains in recovery. Sometimes I get a little too comfortable with the fact that my son is in recovery and doing well. It’s then that I am dealt with of good slap of reality. Addicts are selfish. Recovering addicts do not flip a switch and
I am so excited and so proud of my son. He has come so far in his recovery. I am completely aware that this could turn around in an instant but right now I am reveling in the joy of his success. At this time last year, as we were beginning the lock down of