I am learning each day how my children are all so different. I have set different boundaries for each as they have for me. Since I was a very hands on Mom I’ve become a very Hands On Grandmother. It’s just fine with my daughters but not so much with my son. It brings to
Do I go cold turkey—to borrow a recovery phrase—or cut them off in baby steps? Do I continue to pay for things that support a drug-free lifestyle, like substance abuse counseling, sober living houses, rehab costs or sever all financial ties? What if they can’t afford to eat? What if they’re in withdrawal and ask
How often do you go out of your comfort zone? Do you ever wish that you could or would try something new? I know I do and recently I’ve gotten better at challenging myself, after all we only get one shot at this life and I really hope I don’t give up my dreams for
https://learn.genetics.utah.edu/content/addiction/treatments/ In the past, society viewed drug addiction as a moral flaw. Popular “treatments” involved imprisonment, sentencing to asylums, and church-guided prayer. Not surprisingly, these methods were generally ineffective. Today we understand that addiction is a brain disease characterized by fundamental and long-lasting changes in the brain. Modern treatments are based on scientific research. Treatment
I have found that I live with 2 faces, 2 distinct lives. There is the life as a mother of an addict and the life where I pretend everything is perfect. Until recently most people never saw the mother of an addict they only saw the mother of 3 with the great husband living a
I think that my son really has gotten it! Sticking to boundaries are easy though when they are working. It’s when they aren’t working that I feel the stress. But I am so very glad that I stuck to them about watching the kids at the last minute and every weekend. Once he took the
I really think it’s finally sinking in! Yes, boundaries do work if you don’t give up. I have been trying for so long to get my son to stop badgering me when I say I can’t do something for him. Recently it’s been watching his kids. Every day it’s another request and another outburst when
I am finding that although my son is in recovery, many of his personality traits still reflect his drug use. He is very selfish, he only wants from others and isn’t giving. Everything he does has a motive behind it. He still tries to make others feel guilty and always has a million excuses. So
Sometimes I believe we need to have a little patience. Waiting for things to happen is difficult. We want to jump right to the final version without doing all the work required to get there. In other words we expect instant gratification. The same concept applies to recovery, both for the addict and their family.
Growth is defined as the act or process, or a manner of growing; development; gradual increase. So you see growth is a gradual increase, not a one day or one week or even one month time. There is no time limit, as long as you are changing, evolving, then you are growing. You don’t need
Recently I saw a post that gave me a new perspective on judging how my day, week or month is going. Instead of measuring your success by the chores or job you completed try measuring it by how you touched other peoples lives. How many smiles did you share? How many kind words did you
It’s easy to see how recovery can be hard. There are days that are hard for me and I’m not fighting relapsing. Life can be boring. It isn’t always exciting, busy and fun. That’s a hard thing for me so how much harder is it for someone in recovery. I like to be doing things,
https://www.helpguide.org/harvard/how-addiction-hijacks-the-brain.htm How Addiction Hijacks the Brain Addiction involves craving for something intensely, loss of control over its use, and continuing involvement with it despite adverse consequences. Addiction changes the brain, first by subverting the way it registers pleasure and then by corrupting other normal drives such as learning and motivation. Although breaking an addiction is
I’ve been thinking that there are times where I jump to conclusions with my adult son, times that maybe I overreact because I’m expecting him to have made a poor choice. But sometimes he hasn’t. If something is missing the first thing that pops into my head is that he did it. He took it.