It isn’t my job to keep the peace of those who have caused chaos in my life. When the holidays come so does added stress for everyone. It’s not easy when you child is not included in family plans. It hurts. Not just him but me too.

On one level I can understand but because he hurts from this obvious snub, so do I. Of course then I go into problem solving mode.

Next year maybe I should host all the holidays and then I can include whomever I choose to include. Thanksgiving was difficult this year when my sister UN-invited my son and family. How do you explain to someone who has always been there for Thanksgiving that they aren’t welcome this year. My heart broke especially for my grandchildren. Traditions that link them to their family were broken.

Next year do I solve it by hosting myself?

It isn’t my job to keep the peace of those who have caused chaos in my life. My only job is to protect my own peace and happiness, whatever the cost. That peace is constantly evolving and changing. Life is an ever moving and changing story. True life is only lived when changes occur. These changes can be tiny or huge but changes none the less. So how do I change to meet my needs?

I don’t really have a definitive answer. There’s the answer I could give at this moment but will that answer even apply when circumstance come around again. Life is ever changing so I don’t know what next week will bring let alone next Thanksgiving.

Maybe this hurt me more then it hurt him? Maybe I am internalizing it too much? In my mind I want this perfect family that cares for and wants to spend time with each other. The reality is that all three of my children are different and when one of them is an addict the utopia doesn’t exist.

What I can do, what is in my power and control is to make sure my grandchildren have a bond with each other. I can take them places together. I can have them at my house for a picnic or just to have a movie night. I can give them the time together so that they can form bonds that hopefully can last a lifetime.

I have the second Saturday of December set side for Grandkids Craft day. I have lunch and crafts for all of them. We spend 4-5 hours together creating not just things, but memories. I love that they all are excited about this tradition. I hope it’s something that lives on long after I’m gone. Maybe they’ll tell their own grandchildren that their Grandmother had this magical day just for them.

This is what is in my power. This is what I can control. This is what I need to see through all the other chaos surrounding me. There is a little bit of peace and love that is being created between the next generation of children. Although there is change some things are what brings us home.