Even in addiction recovery there is still pain, because entitlement remains in recovery.

Sometimes I get a little too comfortable with the fact that my son is in recovery and doing well. It’s then that I am dealt with of good slap of reality. Addicts are selfish. Recovering addicts do not flip a switch and become caring individuals. They still care primarily about good old number one. In a way I guess they need to do this so that they are sure to protect themselves from any triggers that may come their way. But there are boundaries that don’t make sense, at least to me.

I want the kind of son that will help me out when I need it. One that doesn’t just call when he needs something. One that doesn’t just think he can have anything that he wants in my house. Yes, as you can guess, I have a specific incident setting off this post. His sense of entitlement hasn’t change just because he is no longer using drugs. He is still selfish. I wish there was a magic wand that could make him grateful instead of feeling entitled.

His sense of entitlement hurts. It hurts everyone that has tried to be there for him, to support him and to continue to love him.

He believes that his time is much more important than anyone else’s time. His needs are more important than anyone else’s needs. He believes that anything we own is by default his. He has no boundaries as far as we and our possessions  are concerned, although he certainly has boundaries with his own things and his own time.

It’s a very frustrating trait that I am positive I’m not alone in feeling confused, hurt and angry about. From all I’ve been through I have learned that the things that hurt those surrounding addiction are basically the same. We all feel the same pain and embarrassment which we are afraid to share for fear of judgement. Although this fear is unfair it remains.

Only by sharing with others that are having the same experiences do we release that fear of embarrassment and judgement. We learn that we are not alone. We know we need to stand our ground and hold onto our own boundaries to save ourselves. Together is how we get through. Together is how we understand. Together is how we don’t go crazy. Together is where we find support. Together is where we can find peace.

Addicts, whether active users or recovering, are selfish. They feel entitled. They need to learn understand in recovery how they hurt others.

https://nct.flywheelsites.com/from-entitlement-to-treatment/

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