Today my son turned 33. Age is just a number but also a barometer of how long he’s been struggling with addiction. 15 years, a very very long time. Within those years we’ve gone without knowing where he was, taking him to numerous rehabs, meeting with numerous counselors, setting up sober living houses, receiving phone calls in tears because he had no place to sleep, calling lawyers, sitting in court, having police search our house, taking him away in handcuffs, visiting him in jail, being stolen from, being screamed at, going to the hospital after an overdose and every day praying that there is one more day. One more day for him to be alive, One more day for him to make memories with his children and one more day for me to know that my first child still walks the earth with me.

I know that all of you know what this is like. Or possibly you don’t know all of it yet or maybe you’ve lost your child to this disease. My heart breaks for anyone that has to go through this. This was never the life we envisioned when we decided to start a family, when we held that tiny baby in our arms but life has a strange way of turning us upside down and inside out.

Over the years he was like any other boy, proud of his first finger painting, loved to go for ice cream, playing on the swingset, riding his bike, playing baseball and soccer, going to Sunday School and Church every week, vacations, birthday parties and lots of family around him all the time. He was blessed. How does that life turn into this one? He had every opportunity, he had dreams, he had college scholarships, he was on his way to a bright and happy future. I wish I knew when this change happened. I wish I knew what triggered it but that is something I’ll never know. Peer pressure? It’ll never happen to me? There was no sports injury, no major surgery, none of the things you need to look out for. I was also unaware, naive and uneducated in addiction.

We don’t always know what the trigger is. There is cases of addiction on my husbands side of the family and experts have said that there is a genetic link. Some people can try something and never again use it, some cannot. All of my kids heard the same things either at school or at home. Don’t do Drugs, come to us if you have a problem, call if you need a ride no matter what time and we are here for you no matter what. It doesn’t matter where you come from, how you are raised, nothing matters – It can happen to anyone!

Birthdays are a date that makes us reminisce about the past and how far we’ve come and also how far we still need to go. Moving forward one day at a time, one step at a time. Your choice – is it going to be One Day or Day One?