No matter what the reason when there is an important event I want and wish for my son to be there. Sometimes it really isn’t possible such as our daughters wedding in New Orleans. Having him there would have made me burst with love and happiness. Don’t get me wrong though, I was very happy at the wedding with my 2 daughters but having him there would have made our family photo complete.

I am aware that there are so many families that never get the opportunity to have all their child in the same place at the same time but doesn’t that mean it doesn’t affect them. I know it affects me a great deal. I do get them together sometimes but not always at important events like a wedding.  You know, when we are all dressed up and could get a great family photo. I take photos constantly so I do have a lot of  photos of them individually. I was an art major in college so I have a camera permanently attached to me, or at least my phone. My grandchildren are great at posing and it still isn’t annoying to them.

A wedding though is something important, something that matters, something that we will look back on in the future and there will always be the question – where was your son? where was your brother? Even more so, the question, will he be around for another wedding or was this my last chance to get the photo that means so much? After he overdosed this was more strongly in my thoughts, I wish for just one more photograph, one more remembrance, one more memory and proof he was part of my family, that he was my child.

I don’t know if I would feel this way if my son wasn’t an addict. Would I fear the photo or the moment being the last? I don’t think that I would, even though in reality it could be whether someone is an addict or not. Life can be lost so quickly and without warning for anyone so what makes it seem so much more overwhelming just because he is an addict? I guess the odds are so much higher for an addict then they are for someone who doesn’t suffer from addiction. So just like is someone has cancer and you’d like that family photo while they’re still with you, it’s the same feeling because your loved one is also suffering from the disease of addiction. You never know when they could succumb to their disease. This makes a lot more sense to me when I look at it in this way.

We don’t ever know when we could lose our loved ones, addicted or not, they can be gone in the blink of an eye. So I won’t feel guilty for wanting just one more memory, one more photo because there is always that chance that it could be my last. So please take the time to collect memories so that you and your children will never forget the important as well as the everyday moments forever.