Rough spots come up no matter how far along you are in your recovery. You can never let your guard down. Too much stress and pressure can cause a relapse unless you have the proper coping skills to deal with it. Keep going to counseling, there is a very good reason for it, talk to your sponsor and go to meetings so you have that support system to fall back on. Sometimes life just gets so overwhelming and without these coping mechanisms you will trip up.

My son is currently sitting in county jail. Although he’s been clean for almost 2 years, at his last probation visit he had a positive urine test. For what I don’t know but he was put into jail for a violation. He’s been under a lot of stress lately. 3 kids will do that to you and we believe but it’s unconfirmed that his fiance is expecting. (update, yes she is expecting)  Stress is a BIG trigger and if you aren’t making time for meetings, group and counseling then you don’t have the support you need to get through.

He has been working 7 days a week and then coming home to baseball games with the 8 year old, a 3 year old that wants Daddy’s attention and a 10 month old that seems to be sick all the time. I get it, there’s not much time for anything else, but this is what can happen if you don’t make the time.

We don’t know what is going to happen to him. Probation supervisor is over-ruling his probation officer which is why he was violated and put in jail. Friday will be 2 weeks.

Personally I think that 2 weeks is a good lesson to let him understand that they aren’t playing. A positive test though is not the whole picture. It is a warning sign for my son that he needs to make time for his recovery, it’s not a criminal act that deserves prison. At the very least allow work release so that he can continue to provide for his family. The system is putting families into dire situations that could be avoided with some forward thinking and consistent rules.

He is running his own business and has jobs lined up. Soon he will lose those jobs and the reputation that he has built. He has a family that he is supporting and they cannot survive without him. So again, the family suffers, the addict suffers and none receive the help they need. Incarceration is not the answer to addiction, it does not help the addict build a new life and it doesn’t help them to become contributing members of society. Our system needs to provide help not hindrance. We all need to speak up, change begins with ourselves.

We need to speak out, educate others and especially talk and write to our government officials. Each county in each state makes up their own rules. That needs to change. Each county in each state needs to show consistency. We need to know what “the rules” are, not what they might be if your in this town or that town. Don’t we all deserve to know what is expected of us and what the consequences are for breaking the rules? This applies at your job as well as in life.

We are not helping him. He has been sitting there working this out on his own. We are helping his fiance with the 3 kids. She has doctor appointments and works cleaning houses. Things she needs to continue to do. He can figure this out. We are not. Harsh but reality and guess what? I do not feel guilty.