Holidays can be both fun and stressful. Which was yours? I hope you were able to find a little bit of peace and relaxation for yourself. I was blessed to have all 3 of my children home and to share the day with friends and family. It was wonderful to see the little ones playing together and having fun while the “grown-ups” talked and laughed together. A nice respite from stress.

The last 2 weeks have been filled with a series of ups and downs for me. If you’ve read my previous posts you know that I have a new grandson. He was born a few weeks early and only 4 1/2 lbs as well as being addicted to methadone. This little one has brought great joy but my son, his father, not so much. Everything that I say or do seems to be a huge issues for him and his fiance. He knowing me should make him aware that if I find a flaw in a system I advocate for change.

Yesterday we had a Labor Day picnic with family and friends. It was a great time. All the kids had fun together and I loved having all my grandchildren together. This doesn’t happen as often as I’d like since one lives in Louisiana. My daughter and Grandson came up 6 days ago and she still had not be able to see her nephew. There was always an excuse why it wouldn’t work. Yesterday was no exception. My son asked if we could watch their 2 year old while they went to the hospital, so off they went and off my daughter went out the door. So they agreed to call her after they had spent a little time with the baby.

Needless to say it didn’t happen. I got a text that they were on their way to pick up their daughter. Well that did not sit so well with his sister, I texted him back asking why are they keeping people away from the baby that love him? “It’s not like that”, was the response to which I responded, “that it sure does seem that way and it is causing a lot of hurt to his family”. My son then called his sister and said he would meet her at the hospital and his fiance picked up their daughter.

I understand the selfish nature of addicts, but what I cannot understand how having that little baby doesn’t change you in at least a small way. Why can’t he see that that little baby needs love from everyone, not just every once in a while from the 2 of them? There are so many willing to give him their love and time but yet he just lays in his bassinet all alone the majority of the time. My heart breaks for him.

I know I speak out of both love and frustration. We all do, we all feel those emotions when dealing with an addict even an addict in recovery.

The end of the week is looking to be when my grandson comes home. I hope and pray that then we will be able to see him more, to hold him more and to give him love.