Addiction hurts everyone, not just the addict. Addiction has far reaching affects on the people that are around the addict, the ones who love them and the ones who care for them or advocate for them. Having the constant stress takes it’s toll both mentally and physically. It is the constant worrying about your loved one, will they make it through another day, will they get arrested, will there be a knock on the door in the middle of the night or what did they steal from you now. But there is also trying to cushion them from consequences by making them see and correct their wrongs before they get into serious trouble. All this while they are lying to you, telling you that you’re crazy and blocking your calls.

Your health can be severely affected and sometimes you need to just think about yourself. We had a reality check this weekend. My husband has been experiencing severe headaches, dizziness, extreme tiredness, losing his hair, very high blood pressure and pain in his back. He went to his family doctor who ordered a CT Scan of his head. On Friday we got a call to go directly to the emergency room. The scan was showing possible infection or fluid on his brain and very poor Kidney function. Panic and Anxiety were immediate responses.

We spent 6 hours in the ER while they ran numerous tests. They redid the blood work, urinalysis and performed a CT Scan of his abdomen. When all was done the doctor came in to give us the results. The fluid on the CT Scan was due to allergies and they prescribed claritin and flonase. He had kidney stones and a kidney infection which were treated with strong antibiotics. But the majority of what was going on was attributed directly to stress.

STRESS, yes Stress was causing so many of his physical symptoms. Symptoms that were causing physical problems. It was scary but it made us realize that the stress of constantly worrying about the what ifs and poor choices of someone else’s life had to stop. If our son hadn’t learned by now what was the right thing to do and to admit his mistakes then we could no longer guide him. It was time for him to sink or swim before we sunk. We couldn’t continue to suffer for things we cannot control or we weren’t going to be around to enjoy our time together.

We spent the weekend ignoring the phone calls and just relaxing. It was just what we needed, certainly just what he needed. I am so thankful that things were not worse. It was so scary to think about life without my husband, trips and adventures that we’d never be able to have. It was our wake up call to think about us and to not let outside stress consume us. You just can’t keep your body in a state of constant stress and although things are still stressful, we are learning.