I find myself talking about the bad things that happen because of my son’s addiction. I talk about lying, stealing, yelling, homelessness, selfishness and so much more but there is also the part of my son that is good. The part that loves his family, the part of him that wants to stay sober, the funny side, the smart side and the talented side. These are all part of who he is but society just says he’s an addict.

It seems as though all that people see is an addict. Not a person who has fought and clawed their way to sobriety, a person that has to fight their demon each and every day, a person who enjoys picnics in the park, a person who enjoys singing in the choir, no we only see them as addicts. That is not fair.

When we talk about addiction everyone has their opinion, not necessarily an educated opinion but an opinion nonetheless. Until someone has faced addiction, has seen what it can do to a person or to a family, it seems unfair to look down upon those who have. It could be you, your child, your cousin or your best friend and when it is you will fight for them. Not because they are an addict but because they are a smart, fun, caring person underneath their addiction. Your opinions will change when it happens to you.

Even when my son was in full blown addiction he had good days. Days where he helped his Dad fix the kitchen sink, when he got tickets and took me to a baseball game, when he stood up for his sisters, when he mowed his grandparents lawn or weeded their garden or shoveled their snow. He has a good heart but sometimes it’s hidden. He has a disease and he needs support and help, with boundaries.

I’m not suggesting that you just accept all the bad and forgive and forget. You need to set boundaries that you are comfortable with. And you need to look for the good in that person, encourage the good and never give up hope for that person.

My son has shown us his darkest side but also his brightest. I have seen the fear in his eyes but also the hope. I have seen his pain but also his joy. I know that he is an amazing father, a great plumber, very smart and he loves his family but there is also the other side. Don’t we all have a side that we aren’t proud of? Something from our past that we’d like to forget? But all of these things make us the person that we are today.

So let’s try to look beyond the label of “Addict” and see the person. Let’s see the father, the mother, the coach, the volunteer, the sister or brother whatever they are at that moment because they are never just one thing and certainly not a past that they’ve worked so hard to overcome. If anything they are Warriors that have fought and continue to fight to overcome a disease, to be the best person that they can be.