My son was in second grade when his teachers talked to me about seeing a doctor for his attention problems. Since he was our first child we really didn’t notice this as much at home. Since I was at home with him and his two sisters they were kept pretty busy. His extra energy was attributed to him being a boy. Aren’t boys supposed to be a little crazier? He always was curious about the world around him but was more of a get dirty, hands on learner. I was ok with that but it didn’t seem as though his teachers were
We started with his family doctor who referred us to a counselor and Psychiatrist. We went each week for a session, he went the testing, they received reports from his teacher and spoke with us. He was diagnosed as having ADHD and OD (oppositional defiant) personality disorder. We were all taught coping techniques, way to diffuse situations, tricks for him when he was angry and better way to express himself.
After a few months the doctor began to discuss medication. My initial gut response was no way, absolutely not! We worked on behavior modification at home with charts and rewards, and we changed his diet by eliminating trigger foods that could make him hyper. His behavior improved but his attention in school did not. Each time we met with the doctor he discussed the pros and cons of the medication and why he felt our son would benefit from it. It seemed as though we had gotten as far as we could with the changes that we had made. We agreed to start a low dose of medication.
When he got off the bus on his first day taking the medication he was overjoyed, elated and bursting with excitement to show me his school journal from that day. I myself almost burst into tears. You could read what he wrote, not only read it but it was like a different child’s handwriting. The changes were instant and dramatic. He became a totally different child with a combination of the techniques we were applying and the medication he was taking.
He was proud of himself and developed good self esteem, he was scoring all A’s in his school work, he was sleeping better and he wasn’t fighting with his sisters as much. Why didn’t we do this sooner? Was this a miracle drug?
He continued through elementary school on distinguished honor roll and won awards for academic excellence. But one thing we kept telling him that this was because of the choices he was making not just the medication. We did not want the medication to become a crutch or an excuse if he missed a dose. He was aware of the difference between right and wrong and that would continue to be his choice to make.
Now as I look back on this I can’t help but wonder did this predispose my son to addiction problems as he got older? Did I as a mother take the easy way out? Am I to blame for him using heroin? And it’s easy to put this blame on yourself but then I remember what we taught him – He knew the difference between right and wrong and he made that choice. I didn’t make that choice.
There are so many articles and studies that go either way. Even the experts can’t agree. I do know that I made the best choice for my son at that point of his life and I do know that him deciding to use drugs was his choice.
Guilt has a funny way of sneaking up on you and making you second guess yourself. Don’t do that. Know that you are the best parent that you can be and that you would never make choices that could hurt your own child. Guilt is just another obstacle to overcome and do not be surprised when it is used by your child against you. You will hear that it’s your fault, if you hadn’t done this or that, or if you had given them this or done that things would be different. They will tell you that you are the reason that they are an addict. I’m telling you that you’re not. Do not fall for their manipulation, be strong.
Talk to someone to keep you strong. It’s going to be a long road and you are going to need all the support and strength that you have.
Below is a link to an article about Addiction and Ritalin.

https://www.addiction.com/4337/ritalin-drug-addiction/

Part 10 – http://walkingthruthedark.com/2018/04/29/court-date-tomorrow/